And the winners are:
1: Ho-Fan Kang
The following is my plan to "handle" the 6 girls of Hinata Inn:
First, I would introduce myself as the superslick hofan from Todai
University while making sure that fox, Kitsune, is adequately contained
(because she is just too mischeivous and would most likely bring my plan
to ruination) by keeping her entertained with a cyborg Keitaro (how this
cyborg will keep her entertained is top secret).
Now with that wily woman out of the way, I would proceed to gain the trust
of the other girls just like that smooth operator, Kentaro, while working
especially on Motoko seeing as how she would be the one to offer the most
resistance (and she is the kawaii-est chick of them all!).
To gain Naru's trust, I'd buy her a few books or pretend to be smart.
To gain Shinobu's trust, well, she trusts pretty much everyone. To gain
Kaolla's trust, give her a pack of bananas. Delicious? To gain Sarah's
trust, well thats pretty much impossible so I'd just sic a bunch of robo
tama-chan's on her.
And seeing as how Haruko would be a relative of mine and Kitsune is busy
with my cyborg keitaro, everything works out fine. Then I shall rule
Hinata Inn with an iron tama-chan!
2: Paul Gallegos
Men have always had the fantasy of being in charge of a women's
dormitory (ok, maybe a _small_ subset of men), but there are several
excellent guides to helping handle this scenario.
First off, the excellent treatise entitled "How to Handle Multiple Women"
penned by Moroboshi Ataru gives an in-depth look into the fragile female
psyche. To wit, according to Moroboshi-san, women crave attention from a
single male, and will flock in droves if said male plays the "aloof" card
with several women at the same time. A highly recommended resource for
the lonely gentleman.
Secondly, "Romance With Kanrinin-san", by Yusaku Godai, is a wonderful
biography which all men in situations like his should read. If you suspect
that one of your residents is a loving, caring individual, you should go
right now to your local bookstore and read this story. This book also
helps with the uncommon scenarios of nosy neighbors and residents popping
into your room unannounced - which could be disasterous if you happen to
be entertaining ANOTHER resident at the same time.
Third, the multi-volume series "Living Together" by Fuwa Raizou, explores
his relationship with a younger girl - in this case, the loveable Hiyama
Izumi. Since you are now the head of a dormitory, it would be logical to
assume all your residents are younger than you, making this a must-read.
Fuwa-san's tales of his pitfalls and pratfalls with the younger Hiyama-san
will probably mirror your own life. Lastly, if you happen to be the
magnetic type, you might want to turn to Saotome Ranma's "How to Fend off
Women", just in case all the women in your dorm try to make a play for
you. Saotome-san's crisp words will help you in almost any situation,
guaranteed!
Of course, you could go it alone and try to deal with the bevy of beauties
by yourself. However, given the history of males surrounded by beautiful
women, why take the (very likely) chance of embarrassment? Just remember,
hidden cameras are still frowned upon, and while getting women drunk is
still an approved method of dealing with females, it only makes you look
like a loser who can't handle women sober (which is probably true). Follow
my suggestions, and you can't go wrong!
3: Brent
Brent's rules for getting into college while in charge of a small girls
dormitory that used to be a hot spring inn, and with six attractive women
already living there.
1. Avoid romantic involvement. The six women will most likely fall
helplessly in love with you, but you shall not disrupt the balance of the
dormitory by favoring one woman over another. Balance is necessary for
studying, and that is your goal.
2. Wear a helmet. Since you are rejecting the advances of six attractive
young women, be prepared to have heavy household items thrown at your head
at any time.
3. Do not be distracted by their beauty. Instead, take note of the women
during their less than beautiful moments, and take pictures to remind
yourself if necessary. For example, with bed head and no make-up first
thing in the morning, or right after tripping over the box you left on the
stairs, or during their face masks. Note: Rule number 2 applies here as
well.
4. Don't bother knocking when entering the hot springs. Embarrassing
moments are mood breakers, and a woman's anger is easier to handle than
one's affections. Besides, it's fun, so long as you act all embarrassed
too.
5. Get the brainy woman to help you in your studies. There's always one.
The mad scientist, the smart girl, the nerdy one who knows everything, but
is clueless at the same time. If you are careful, she won't even consider
that you think she is gorgeous.
6. Meet your friends at THEIR homes instead of yours. Otherwise you will
be spending too much time getting them away from your incredibly
attractive dorm-mates. Time is essential for studying.
7. Settle dorm disputes between the women fairly and quickly to prevent
all out war. Usually a simple contest can decide who the winner should be.
Races are particularly effective.
8. Never volunteer to retrieve lost/forgot items of the women. This is
usually a waste of time, and will inevitably get you hurt. Besides, if you
do get whatever they lost, they will thank you, and you can't have them
thinking you the hero, lest they fall in love with you. See Rule number 1.
9. Defend your home and dorm-mates against invaders. The invaders will
surely come, and this home is better than no home. However, be warned that
this will likely elevate you to hero status, and you will have to redouble
your efforts to fend off the women.
10. Enjoy yourself. How many times in your life do you get to live with 6
attractive women while trying to get into college! But just don't let on
that you are enjoying it. : ) |
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